


Comfort May Hurt Sometimes

by ExhaustedSunflower



Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, It doesn’t get that far but still, Just to be safe, Sexual Assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25882438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExhaustedSunflower/pseuds/ExhaustedSunflower
Summary: “Mija, are you sure you’re okay?”Cathy looked up, Catalina is sure she saw a flicker of annoyance on her goddaughter’s face.“I just said I’m fine, Catherine.” Catherine? What has gotten into her?“I know. But you’ve been acting odd all day-““No, I haven’t. You just like acting like you’re my mother. You’re not, so stop. I’m fine.”
Comments: 15
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

_ 1:35AM _

It’s been hours since Cathy left, and Catalina is just barely refraining from calling the police. She shouldn’t, Cathy had said she didn’t know when she’d be back. She left really late too. She knows Cathy would not appreciate a search party. She doesn’t like the doting, that’s why she left in the first place. But it’s late ( _ early? _ ). 

-

_ “Mija, are you sure you’re okay?” _

_ Cathy looked up, Catalina is sure she saw a flicker of annoyance on her goddaughter’s face. _

_ “I just said I’m fine, Catherine.” Catherine? What has gotten into her? _

_ “I know. But you’ve been acting odd all day-“ _

_ “No, I haven’t. You just like acting like you’re my mother. You’re not, so stop. I’m fine.” _

_ Catalina’s a bit taken aback at the tone, and the words. She acts like this all the time with Cathy. It has never been an issue before. They both know they have a mother daughter bond, they’ve both enjoyed the feelings that come with it.  _

_ “Cathy, love, I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but-“ She’s cut of yet again. _

_ “Will you stop? Leave me alone!” _

_ “Cathy, you will stop cutting me off right now. Let’s talk like adults.” _

_ “You need to stop telling me what to do. I’m a grown woman.” _

_ “Then act like one! I was just asking if you were okay!” _

_ “Over and over again! I’m fine!” _

_ “I don’t believe you!” _

_ “Well you don’t know everything!” _

_ They continued back and forth for a while, and then Cathy stormed off in frustration. She went to her room, then a little while later passed Catalina again on her way out the door.  _

_ “It’s eleven at night, where are you going?” _

_ “Not my mother, none of your business. I’ll be back. I don’t know when.” _

-

Catalina won’t lie and say that the argument didn't hurt her. She also won’t lie and say she isn’t very, very confused. Cathy had acted off all day. She’d been extraordinarily quiet and sluggish. She barely even ate her dinner, which was strange because she loves when Jane cooks. On top of all that, she’s been very withdrawn all week. She hasn’t gone to sit with Catalina before bed all week, something Cathy does often. 

She’s likely not been sleeping at all, come to think of it. She gets easily irritable if she goes a week with barely any sleep. That might explain the conversation escalating into an argument. But it does not explain  _ why. _ What’s been bothering Cathy? Why did she feel the need to snap like that? Catalina wonders about this as she sits in the living room, cup of tea in hand, waiting for Cathy to come home. She won’t be able to sleep if she doesn’t know Cathy is home safe. Cathy might still be angry with her when she gets home, might be more angry when she sees Catalina stayed up for her, but at least Catalina will know if she’s okay.

_ 2:28AM _

She hears the door unlock and open and turns to look. Cathy walks in, closing the door quietly behind her. She turns around, and when she sees Catalina she jumps nearly a mile high, covering her mouth to keep in a scream.

“ _ Oh! Jesus Christ, Lina. Why? _ ”

She isn’t sure what the question means, but it might be why is she sitting here in the living room at this hour. 

“I just wanted to be sure you got home safe. I’ll go to bed now.” She stands to go towards the stairs, and Cathy does not stop her. She clearly doesn’t want to talk about it still.

She gets halfway up the stairs when she hears Cathy fall.

“Are you okay?” She asks as she races back down towards her goddaughter. When she gets to her side to help her up, she notices the tears running down her face. Not only that, but there’s a bruise on her cheek. That’s concerning. And she’s fallen, does she have other injuries?

She takes Cathy’s face into her hands and inspects the bruise, “What happened? Who did this?”

Cathy looks back at her, she looks slightly afraid now. Catalina can’t tell for the life of her why she seems scared. 

“Um,” is all Cathy could get out, tears slowing to be held in. She’s closing up, Catalina sees that much.

“Cathy, please. What happened to your face?”


	2. Chapter 2

Cathy slams the door behind her. She’s not sure where she’s going, not entirely sure what made her so angry she had to leave in the first place. But walking quickly down the pavement away from the house is a lot better than pacing in her bedroom.

She kind of feels bad about snapping at Catalina like that, she’d only been trying to help. It was just too much at the time. Cathy loves Catalina, she does, it’s just that with her current mindset she can’t handle her mothering. Catalina is quite the mother hen; and she doesn’t only treat Cathy like that, she fusses over the others plenty. Normally it makes Cathy feel warm inside, today it’d felt suffocating.

She walks for a while, and stops at a park. It’s rather late, she shouldn’t be out too long. They don’t exactly live in the safest of neighborhoods. Still though, she sits on a bench for some rest. The anger has worn off now. Now she just feels sad and tired, nothing like the adrenaline she had felt when she left. Maybe she should apologize. She can’t though, because the moment she lets herself apologize she’ll have to explain, which she isn’t even sure she can do right now. She can’t even sort it out in her own head, and she’s been trying for over a week. 

She continues this cycle in her head. Convincing herself to go home and apologize, then talking herself out of it with various reasons. And then convincing herself that the reasons are wrong.

_ Catalina probably won’t even want to hear it.  _ No, that's not right. Catalina is so forgiving, so kind.

_ I really messed up tonight, I even stormed out in the middle of the night. _ But Anne’s done worse, and Catalina has always forgiven her.

_ She’ll want an explanation. _ She’d probably deserve one, too. But Cathy isn’t quite sure she has one.

_ She’ll be angry. _ She won’t. And even if she is, she won't show it. She has such a big heart. Cathy doesn’t deserve how kind Catalina is to her.

_ Our relationship won’t be the same after this. _ Maybe not, but that’s what she said she wanted. It would just be Catalina respecting her boundaries.

Eventually she is brought out of her thoughts by someone sitting next to her on the bench. 

“Late night?”

She looks over to see a man, a bit on the older side. Maybe late forties. She unconsciously shifts away. There’s no telling what this guy wants, it’s pretty late, who knows why he’s out here.

“Er, yes?”

The guy laughs at her unsure answer, completely disregarding her discomfort. She tries not to judge people upon first meeting, but he seems a bit off. And she’s had enough experiences with men to not be careful.

“Don’t be shy, I was just worried, is all. A pretty young lady like you sitting alone in a park at this hour. It could be dangerous.”

Well then. If she didn’t feel like she was in danger before, she does now.

She stands, “Yeah, I was waiting for my friend. I think I’m gonna meet him halfway though. Thanks for the concern.” He stands with her.

“My name’s Marty. I’ll walk with you.”

“You really don’t have to do that.”

He steps toward her, hand out. She steps back.

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I even introduced myself, don’t be rude.”

She didn’t ask him for anything, not even his name. She owes him nothing. If he’s such a good guy, why can’t he pick up on how uncomfortable she is?

“I really have to go-“

He grabs her arm rather roughly, and she pushes him back. This results in him hitting her, hard.

The world freezes for a moment, then she’s hitting the ground.

“Fuck! I did not want to do that! Why’d you push me?”

Of course, as if it’s her fault this asshole grabbed her in a park in the middle of the night. She goes to stand, and he reaches his hand out to grab her again. The immediate reaction is to dodge his hands, and he grabs at her more forcefully. There’s a struggle, and then she’s falling back again, her leg at an awkward angle.

“Are you okay?”

He did this! Why is he asking as if it was an accident? Cathy stands quickly, her knee almost gives out on her as she gets up. Then she bolts. She hears him yelling after her, and she runs faster. Adrenaline is coursing through her veins again, though now it’s fear rather than anger.

Once she is approaching home, and is sure that man is not following, she slows down. Her leg really hurts. She manages to walk up the stairs to the porch, then through the door. She doesn’t even register the fact that the lights in the living room are on. At this point she’s crying, and she just wants to get up to her room. Cathy closes the door quietly, then turns around. 

And then is terrified, because,  _ oh my god what the hell there’s a person where did they come from?!  _ Her already paranoid and frazzled mind is screaming at her, then she realizes that it’s just Catalina.

“ _ Oh! Jesus Christ, Lina. Why?” _

Why is she here? Why is she still awake? Why did she not say anything when Cathy walked in? Why scare her?

“I just wanted to be sure you got home safe. I’ll go to bed now.”

Her face is soft and tired as she says it, and Cathy can’t bring herself to respond. There are no words for what she feels right now. She can’t even think of what she might need.

Catalina is on her way up the stairs when Cathy lets go of the door handle. She starts on her way to the kitchen to get something to drink, maybe some tea or hot chocolate, she’ll decide when she gets there. Two steps in, her knee finally gives out on her. Makes sense, she’d run all the way here on it, and it might be sprained.

“Are you okay?”

And that’s exactly what Marty said when she fell, so forgive her for being a bit skittish. It’s been a rough night.

Suddenly Catalina is holding and inspecting her face, particularly the place she’d been punched.

“What happened?” She demands, “Who did this?”

“Um,” Cathy stares back at her. She doesn't want to talk about this, doesn’t want to tell Catalina anything. Not about how she got hurt, not about why she’d been upset earlier, anything at all. Right now she wants to curl up in bed and cry. Catalina is still holding her face and looking down at her worriedly though.

“Cathy, please. What happened to your face?”


	3. Chapter 3

“I-“ Cathy has no idea what to say right now. She doesn’t want to talk about it. She wants to block it from her mind completely until she’s not panicking and can handle it properly. But that doesn’t seem to be an option right now. So Cathy settles for telling Catalina that her knee is hurt.

Catalina’s gaze moves down to Cathy’s knee, which is clearly swollen. 

“How, Cathy? How?” Cathy once again opts not to respond, and tries to get back up. When she attempts to put pressure on her right leg she lets out a whimper and falls back down. 

“Okay, take it easy. I’m going to help you get to the couch, okay?” Cathy agrees. That sounds like a good plan. She takes a moment to be glad Catalina had waited up for her to get home. There is no way Cathy would have been able to move without help.

Catalina tries at first to hold her up by her arms, giving her support to let her kind of make her way on her own. But when she grabs Cathy’s arm a similar cry of pain comes with it. She looks, wide eyed and now very angry, at the finger shaped bruises left by whoever attacked her goddaughter. Lord forgive her, she is going to kill someone today.

Carrying her, Catalina places Cathy on the couch. Then she gets some ice and an Ace bandage for her knee, which looks sprained. If that doesn’t go down they’ll need to go to a doctor.

“So,” She starts, handing Cathy some pain killers and a glass of water. Then she moves on to wrapping her knee. “Who’s getting murdered tonight?”

Cathy looks like she wants to get up and leave, so it's a good thing she physically can’t now.

“No one, madrina.”

“Oh! So it’s Madrina now, huh? Not Catherine?” She glances up just in time to see Cathy’s guilty reaction.

“Listen, I’m sorry-“ 

“None of that, you never have to apologize to me. I just want to know what made you say those things.”

“I want to apologize though!” 

Catalina considers this, “The best form of apology for me would be an explanation.”

Cathy sighs, and it’s quiet for a bit. She’s not ready yet.

“Why don’t you just start with how you got hurt then? We can get to the rest of it later.” 

Cathy quietly hopes later means never. She hesitates, but gives in. Might as well tell her, she can’t exactly walk away again.

“While I was out some guy-“ She watches Catalina’s head shoot up from the bandage and ice with a murderous glint in her eyes, and backtracks a bit.

“I mean, what happened was, I was in a park alone. And then I got hurt.”

Catalina doesn’t look any less murderous, and now she looks quite upset with Cathy. 

“ _ Cathy. _ ” Uh oh. That is not a tone of voice Cathy ever wants to be at the end of. She shrinks a bit under the gaze.

“Some guy sat next to me at the park and he wanted to follow me and when I said no he got upset and he tried to grab me but I pushed him so he hit me and I fell and I hurt my leg and then I ran away.” She doesn’t stop during the whole thing, just says it in one big sentence. 

Catalina looks absolutely pissed, and she’s immediately talking about going to the police and reporting him. Or better yet, getting Jane and Anne down here to help her go find and kill him themselves. It’s not exactly helping put Cathy’s mind at ease. She feels her eyes fill with tears once more.

“Lina, please stop.” The angry ranting stops immediately. Catalina’s eyes soften when she looks at Cathy. 

“Oh, mija. That must have been so scary.” She says sympathetically.

It was. It was very scary, and she wants to go to bed.

“I just wanna sleep now.”

Catalina seems to get it, at least a bit. She nods back.

“Okay, will you be okay with me carrying you upstairs?”

“You don’t have to carry me. I’m sure I could manage with you just helping from my side.”

Catalina looks at her, and deadpans, “I had to carry you to the couch. But please do go on about how you’ll magically be able to walk up a flight of stairs.”

Cathy huffs, “Anything’s possible when I’m trying to get you to leave me alone.”

Catalina rolls her eyes and leans back, ready for the argument to come.

“I mean you could stay right here on the couch for the rest of the night if you’re just going to be ungrateful.”

“Well maybe I’d like to stay down here.”

“You  _ just said  _ you want to go to bed.”

“I said I want to sleep, never said where.”

Catalina groans in response. Clearly they’re both too tired and agitated for this. She gets up and grabs Cathy, picking her up bridal style.

“What are you doing? Put me down!”

“I’m bringing you to bed, even though you’re acting like an ungrateful child. Now be quiet, the others are asleep.”

Cathy mostly does as she’s told. She does let out a small growl though. Just to show how mad she is. Catalina seems to want to make a comment on how ‘threatening’ the noise was, (About as threatening as a territorial five month old Yorki.) but refrains as she makes her way to Cathy’s room.

When they get up to the room, she sets her goddaughter on the bed and tucks her in. 

“You can go now, thanks for your help.” Cathy says quickly as she pushes Catalina’s hands away from the covers. 

Catalina freezes up a bit and looks like she wants to ask a million questions, but ultimately pulls away completely and nods. 

“Alright then. Goodnight, mi hija.”

She walks away as she hears Cathy’s hesitance to respond to the name. It hurts, though she’d never admit it, that Cathy has been acting like this all day.  _ All week. _

Then, deliberately quiet as she closes the door she hears it, 

“ _ G’night, Madrina _ .”

It’ll be okay, Catalina just has to figure out what’s going on. Once she knows she can help, as of right now they need to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

They spend most of the morning not speaking to each other. Catalina brings Cathy her food in bed, and Cathy refuses to even look Catalina in the eyes. Even then, Catalina hasn’t left her side for more than a minute. Last night was terrifying, she’d rather not let Cathy out of her sight. Cathy does speak to Anna when she comes to check on her though.

“How’s your knee feeling?”

“Big ouch.”

Anna snorts, “Well, at least you didn’t break your sense of humor.”

Cathy laughs, but insists she’s not joking. Her knee does in fact feel  _ ‘ _ big ouch’. 

So the tension is only directed at Catalina then, good to know.

Soon enough, Anna is called away to help Anne with something. This leaves The two Catherine’s alone in silence once more. They try to ignore it, both deciding on reading a book or occupying their time on their phones. But it can only be held off for so long.

“Can we talk?”

Cathy winces, she can’t exactly avoid this conversation. She can’t even walk to the bathroom on her own. Still, she tries.

“I’d really rather continue what I’m doing.”

She’s scrolling through twitter; not exactly the most important thing in the world. But worth a shot.

“You can go back to it after, I promise.”

Catalina doesn’t look annoyed, just concerned. The same way she’s been looking at Cathy for days. Cathy puts her phone down, making a show of being annoyed at having to stop. She resolutely ignores how guilty treating her godmother like that makes her feel.

“What is it?” She doesn’t miss the flash of hurt in Catalina’s face, she doesn’t miss the stab in her heart at the sight.

She wishes she could stop, truly, but she’s dug herself too far in now. She’s already hurt Catalina. And if she tries to apologize she’d have to explain. Which she doesn’t want to do.

“What’s been going on with you? Have I done something?”

Of course she thinks she’s done something. Cathy’s been pushing her away. It hurts too much to let Catalina mother her anymore while she’s feeling like this.

“You haven’t.”

Catalina looks confused, “Then why have you been acting like I have?”

Cathy sighs, “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. Please, just tell me, mija.”

She doesn’t want to talk about it, and she tells Catalina so. 

Catalina is not usually one to pry. If something is happening that someone doesn’t want to talk about, and they say that specifically, she usually will back off until they would like to talk. But she’s been doing that and Cathy’s behavior has only gotten more and more concerning. So it’s about time she pushes a bit.

“I think you might feel better if you do.”

“Stop it.”

Catalina pauses, “Stop what?”

“Stop acting all caring! I’ve been nothing but rude to you and you’re still being nice to me! You can be mad at me, you are under no obligation to love me. Especially when I’m being a bitch!”

_ You are under no obligation to love me. _ That’s the one sentence that stuck out. Why would Cathy think Catalina feels obligated to love her? Sure, their godmother/goddaughter connection had helped form a bond in the beginning. But they’re well past getting to know each other now. Catalina does love Cathy. Unconditionally, no obligation involved.

“I can’t say I’m not upset. But I’m worried. You’re not acting like yourself.”

“Maybe I’m just like this, and you didn’t notice.”

“No, Cathy. You are not like this. I would like to know why you’ve been upset. Forget you being rude to me for a bit, let’s focus on one thing at a time. What’s bothering you?”

There’s silence for a really long time after that question. Catalina doesn’t dare break it. She sits there, waiting for Cathy to answer. She’s made it clear now, no matter how many times Cathy attempts to avoid this conversation, Catalina will be persistent. They stare at each other for a while, then Cathy breaks eye contact, looking at her blanket.

“You remind me so much of my mother.”

“Your mother?”

That’s not what she’d been expecting. If anything she was expecting to hear that she shouldn’t act like her mother, because she’ll never be like Maud.

“Yes. And I’ve been missing my family so much recently. My mother was exactly like you. She loved unconditionally, as if it were her job.”

Oh, that makes sense.

“Cathy, I do love you.”

The woman in front of her starts to cry. Not quiet, teary eyed sniffles, but rather it comes with a loud sob breaking out of her as she begins to cry uncontrollably. Catalina moves so she’s sitting next to Cathy on her bed holding her. Cathy lets herself be pulled into a hug and doesn’t stop crying. They stay in this position until Cathy can slow her sobs down to controlled hiccups. 

“Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

“Sorr- I mean, okay.”

Catalina’s wondering why her statement caused such a reaction though, because it’s not like that’s the first time she’s said she loves Cathy.

“I’m flattered that I remind you of Maud. She was an impressive woman.”

She really was. Maud raised her children alone. On top of that, she taught so many young women. And then her daughter went on to teach many other children as well.

“She was incredible.”

Cathy truly admired her mother in her first life. All the more reason to be happy to be comparable to the woman.

“She raised you well.”

“She taught me everything I knew.”

“Everything?”

Cathy nods, shifting to look at her.

“Yeah, like academically. And also how to work my way through the world. She taught me how to survive.”

The survivor credits the teachings of her mother to her survival. Likely the highest praise to give.

“She loved to teach, you’re a lot like her in that way.”

Cathy disagrees, surprisingly.

“I’m nothing like my mother.”

That’s actually a shock to hear, because Catalina sees Maud in Cathy every day.

“And why not?”

Cathy clams up again, refusing to respond. And they were making such progress, too.

“Cathy?”

“I _ can’t  _ be like my mother. Every time someone says that they mean it differently. So I can’t be.”

“And how exactly do they tend to mean it?”

Cathy looks at her, eyes searching. It’s as if she expects Catalina to know already, as if it’s obvious. When she finds no knowing look, just pure curiosity, she responds.

“People around us get hurt, Lina. They die, or they get injured, or sick or even locked away. If I’m like her that means it’s true.”

Seeing as no one has died just yet in this life, Catalina would say that that is very wrong. But clearly Cathy believes it. And understandably so. Watching every single person you care for in your life die or get hurt while you continue to survive is likely not easy on the mind.

Cathy looks quite sad, even more so than she did before she said it. She looks like she might cry again just thinking about all the people she saw die.

“You say it as if it’s an undeniable fact. I would like to say that it isn’t true, because you are here and we, your family, are also still here. We aren’t going anywhere.” 

She starts there, because it’s easier to use facts to prove her point when it comes to arguing with Cathy.

“Also, you are so much like your mother. You’re intelligent, and loyal, honest, all the best qualities a woman can have. And you learned them all from her. You are like her when it comes to losing people, only in the way that you get through it and you come out stronger. You’re like her in all of the best, most admirable ways. I’m so sorry you’ve been forced to ignore all of that by tragedy and horrible opinions.”

Cathy seems star struck. As if she hadn’t thought of the good qualities she might have inherited, just the bad. 

Then, she hugs Catalina. 

It’s a kind of awkward hug. They’re sitting side by side and Cathy had to twist herself to properly hug her. Her knee won't allow any mobility on her lower half, lest she be in intense pain after shifting the wrong way. This means only half of her body is turned into the hug, resulting in her back twisting in an uncomfortable angle.

She’s glad she got this out of Cathy. Maybe they can work on getting past it now that it’s out in the open. And maybe Cathy will stop acting like the world is ending every time Catalina speaks to her, because honestly that was kind of hurting her feelings. But a thought gets her to break the silence again.

“Wait, what’s brought all of this back up now?”

Cathy pulls back from the hug and lays back against her pillows. She looks up at the ceiling as she says it, holding back more tears.

“It’s my brother's birthday.”

Oh. The poor thing, she’s in mourning.

“William, right?”

“Yes.”

There’s a calendar downstairs filled with dates of which are painful for the queens. Catalina checks it the first of every month, William’s birth date is not on the list for August. Which gives her cause to wonder why exactly she didn’t put all of her dates in the calendar like they’d all promised to do.

“Once your leg is better, would you like to go visit him?”

Cathy looks up abruptly, startled by the offer. Catalina isn’t sure why though, considering that’s the very least she could do to help.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

Back to this again?

“Mija, I love you. You’re hurting, of course I’m going to be nice to you.”

“But I was awful!”

“It only makes sense that you’d act that way though. You miss your family, and I remind you of them. Hurt people hurt people, or so the saying goes.”

“I had no right to treat you that way no matter what I feel.”

“Perhaps not. I’m not excusing you; you did hurt me. But I can understand, so I forgive you.”

“How can you forgive me if you won’t even let me apologize?”

Catalina rolls her eyes and sighs as a response, not really wanting to get into another argument. Especially not over something like this.

“Fine, fine. If I let you formally apologize, will you drop this?”

Cathy’s eyes narrow, “I might.”

It takes all of her strength not to laugh at Cathy’s serious expression. She’s fighting for the ability to apologize, and she looks so cute in her blanket and pajamas with that face on. But laughing would not help her feel better.

“Go on then.”

There’s a bit of silence as Cathy tries to figure out how to phrase what she wants to say.

“I am so sorry. I wanted to stop, but then I’d have to explain. And I didn’t know how to explain in the first place because the way I was acting didn’t even make sense to me.”

Cathy pauses to take Catalina’s hand.

“I’m sorry, Madrina.”

Well, now it’s Catalina’s turn to cry. 

“I forgive you, querida.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, technically William’s birthday was yesterday. And I was supposed to post this then, but there was no way. There are straight up not enough hours in a day. 
> 
> Anyways, August 14th is Willam Parr’s birthday. He’s buried in St Mary’s church in Warwick, UK. He’s the middle child and Cathy is the eldest.
> 
> Maud Green was really awesome. She raised her children as a single woman and taught her kids to be intelligent and cunning. She also ran a school in the court, and was a lady in waiting and good friend of Catherine of Aragon. Hence why Cathy is her goddaughter and is named after her.


End file.
